In the Beginning, There was the Word...

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here I am. Send me!"
—Isaiah 6:8

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We got the word go this morning.

Heading to morning PT formation, I saw troops marching around post, first sergeants calling cadence. I never see troops marching in cadence--not in the real Army anyway.

Instead of a troop formation, we rallied in the motor pool, and the SCO announced, "Around 1400 Thursday last week, the Secretary of Defense signed orders, and around 1300 hours yesterday, we got word. As of now, __ squadron is on deployment orders, port of call Iraq, in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom."

There was a slight pause before we responded with a less-than-enthusiastic, "HOOAH!"

He told us that beyond what he had just said, we could not tell anyone anything else. Not the time of day, the date, where exactly in Iraq we're going, or anything. He gave us some information, but not enough. And then he asked, "Is anybody scared?"

A few soldiers raised their hands, faces plastered with shit-eating-grins that dared everyone else to call them pussies.

He dismissed us to tell our families the news.

At 0700 here, the clock had just struck midnight back in Texas. Mom and Dad were sleeping, and I decided not to wake them up to give them what I knew would be ill tidings. I told my brother in the Navy, Squid. I told my godbrother, Lucky. Later on in the day, I was able to call Mom, but I was very brief. She took it well, but it sounded like her insides were deflated, like she couldn't breathe. I hung up before I could hear her cry. I was still at work.

After work, I called home but couldn't catch anyone. Mom's cellphone went to the voice-mail. I called my baby sister, Tea. She's finishing her freshman year of college, and I should have known that as soon as I told her I was going to Iraq, she would cry. She cried and cried. "I don't want you to go," she wept.
I laughed and told her, "But, Tea, you knew I'd be going."

"Yeah, but it's so soon."

"I've been in the Army 19 months. Almost two years."

"It doesn't seem like that long ago."

"C'mon, Tea...." I said. "I'll be all right."

We maneuvered the conversation over to something less emotional, something retarded about how she finally saw Spiderman 3 after I advised her not to. I let her go and hoped that I didn't just cause her to fail a final.

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I will come home on pre-deployment leave in July.